2nd Wife Rule
a mathematical equation to determine the age of a man’s second wife: you take the man’s physical age divided by two plus 7 years and that will be his second wife’s age. the rule is also true to women who are first-time widows or divorcees but in reverse: take her age, subtract seven years and multiply by two and that’s the age, plus or minus a few years, of her second husband. if she’s 44, she should start hanging out at nursing homes and vfw lodges because her next husband will be in his 70s. (you have to allow greater margin of error the older a woman’s second husband’s likely to be.) the problem is there are more women who are divorced in their 40s and 50s than there are single men in their 60s and 70s. hence, further validation of the line in “sleepless in seattle” that “it’s easier for a woman to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40.”
jessie: i just found out no account my ex-husband’s dating a woman who’s 29.
kevin: how old is he?
jessie: 44
kevin: well, according to the so-called 2nd wife rule, which takes half his age, which is 22, plus seven years, which is 29, she’s the exact age he should be dating.
jessie: that lousy b-st-rd! well, two can play that game. i’m going to find me a 29 year old stud.
kevin: sorry, sweetie but that cougar don’t hunt. your search demographic is in their 70s.
jessie: then they better be rich!
kevin: probably not. if they were, they’d be tapping the 29 year old, too. via viagara!
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