5north



commonly referred to as “the best floor in ess-x hall,” (university of western ontario) it’s 2007/2008 floor members frequently partic-p-te in large amounts of drinking, floorcesting, and frolicking. the 5north family consists of many ridiculously good-looking kids, several boys who enjoy spooning together, a rock b-ss, genie and a minger. they can often be seen hanging out in their hallway, giving and receiving hickeys, licking, dry humping and fondling one another. when they aren’t in the hall, they are most likely involved in some mafia, or arm tickling and complaining about the teeth of f-ck-ng dogs on the lower floors. one of the floor’s most popular features is their minger’s v-jay, which is known for it’s exquisite caves, cozy ent-ty, and ability to save it’s family members’ lives. the group is immensely self-absorbed, but for all the right reasons, and have convinced themselves that several floors do not exist, (ie. 5south). some of their favorite activities include cl-ssy wine & cheese parties, drinking bailey’s on sunday nights, and eating pad-thai while watching borat. several floor members also have a fort-nightly tradition of fried potatoes and broccoli with cheese at midnight. as for floorcesting, not only every suite but also almost every room can be considered to be involved in a messy web of one-night stands, fornication and oral treats. they have replaced ess-x in the popular frosh-week chant, and have been heard on buses sloppily screaming “5north is so hot right now.” despite the floor’s reputation, it’s a fact that everyone who’s not on 5north wants to be there.
“welcome to 5north, may i interest you in any s-x, drugs or alcohol? or perhaps our special of all three?”

greg: “guys… when did we all get like this?”
jordan: “what, h-m-s-xual?”

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