a scale of one to dead
a scale used to judge the screwed-upness of a situation, where a value of ‘1’ indicates that a situation is only slightly screwed up, whilst a value of ‘dead’ indicates that the situation is extremely screwed up and nothing can be done about it. unlike the more commonly used scale of one to ten, a scale of one to dead implies that the situation has already been screwed up and all that can be done now is to limit the damage. the scale is thus used to determine exactly how much damage control is possible, and if a more sensible option wouldn’t be to just avoid the whole thing. often used in connection with exams, tests and s-xual health clinics. variations include “a scale of one to f-cked”, and “a scale of one to omg we’re all gonna die”.
girl1: i haven’t revised for this exam at all. i’m so screwed.
girl2: how bad is it? on a scale of one to dead?
girl1: definitely dead. my mum’s gonna kill me.
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