Ability School

educational inst-tution in englewood, new jersey that n-body knows. grades k-8. resides in the infamous englewood section known as englehood. less-known than the other schools in that city, such as dwight englewood school and elizabeth morrow day. there’s no such thing as a well-organized educational structure to be found within this building that is shared with a local presbyterian church. this school follows the montessori method (however, once you graduate, you will have the education of the average janitor), there is a new teacher for each cl-ss every season, and field trips are taken to indoor amus-m-nt parks, roller rinks, arcades, movie theaters, and cheap fast food joints instead of museums, theaters, or historical sights. people that run the school are scientologists that will do anything to get people to send their kids to this school (and it is barely a school).
you a f-ckload of bizarre people. convos between 4th graders are always not intellectual, but heated and hostile debates about religion, politics, or the existence of aliens and satan. each student is brought up to be a goody-two shoes and upon hearing a swear as mild as d-mn or h-ll, will an entire cl-ss go as berserk as damien when he saw the church in the omen. graduating cl-sses comprise of no more than four kids each year. and you will learn nothing in cl-sses. i mean absolutely nothing!
oh, yeah… the educational foundation is also so weak that teachers are referred to by first names.
hildy: there are 0 books on the bookshelf. how many books are there?

randall: oh, idk? 7? (in a mocking tone)

hildy: where did you get that from?

randall: of course it’s zero! is this a math cl-ss, or are we playing “memory” here?

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sabrina: franklin! you didn’t do the homework? go sit outside until i call you back in!

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jodi: let’s see if you kids can manage to stay quiet for an exact half-hour.

five minutes later… someone sneezes.

jodi: d-mn it, kids! you can’t discipline yourselves? go live at a freaking zoo for all i care! you know what? i want you to write a six-paragraph -ssignment on what the word “silence” means. if you don’t know what it means, get a godd-mn dictionary!

student: jodi, this is f-cking ridiculous! and why is every problem supposed to be solved with a dictionary? (at ability school, you will be encouraged endlessly to use a dictionary to solve your problems)

jodi: shut up!