abstinence contract
a contract that parents and the catholic church force teenagers to sign, which says that they cannot engage in any s-xual activities until marriage. it is stupid, because it goes against the basic laws of nature, and it doesn’t work very often, instead it encourages them to have s-x even more, but they don’t know about birth control, so the girls get pregnant.
craig: why did you make me come in here with your girlfriend?
craig’s mom: craig, we’d like to talk with you two about something very important. now that you both are together, we want you to sign this contract. once you sign this, you will not commit any s-xual activities until marriage, and therefore be pure until then, so you won’t go to h-ll.
craig: what the f-ck, mom?! are you stupid? i’d never sign an abstinence contract! you know i’m an athiest! stop being such a r-t-rd! s-x is not some holy act that can only be done in marriage, it’s normal human behavior! (rips up contract) you make me sick! i wish you weren’t so ignorant!
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