actual holy crap


a rare toilet phenomenon that draws crowds from all corners of the house and potentially the entire neighbourhood but keeps cisterns and pumps inactive for days.

an ‘actual holy cr-p’ has a golden glow. when one gazes upon it’s beauty a choir of angels start to sing. however what really seperates this piece of poo from the others is simply miraculous.

an ‘actual holy cr-p’ unlike it’s cousin the floater which just floats on the water seemingly walks across the water. in fact it almost skips!

an ‘actual holy cr-p’ does not have any political will but does have strong opinions on global issues.

an ‘actual holy cr-p’ may feign being camera shy but scientists have discovered they crave attention.

sadly ‘actual holy cr-ps’ have a short lifespan due to their abhorrent smell and suicidal tendencies.
“have you heard about that angelic piece of cr-p on the news? they’re saying the little fella walks on water and he has a golden glow!”…..”now that’s an actual holy cr-p”

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