Affirmation
the acknowledgement of a colleague’s job well done. it was first invented by enda mckenna in 1947 in his magnum opus on “motivation of female staff in the male dominated workplace”. its purpose was to recognise the added value brought to the business world by women after the second world war; such as round-the-clock provision of biscuits, coffee and s-xual favours. more recently, affirmations have become a desired method of motivation by both s-xes. traditionally, affirmation is delivered by a firm, open-handed pat to the posterior. however, there are many variations; such as the “snap-to” where a short, sharp delivery results in surprise, awe and a warm after glow. softer versions are the “double” and “triple” pats where two or three affirmations are delivered in quick succession to confirm the high level of performance currently being delivered. the third and rarely used version is the “spank and linger”. this is when the affirmation is singular but contact is maintained, conveying the message of a job well done, worthy of additional “rewards”.
winston: did you see that annual report that miss wells drew up?
charles: yes… jolly good for a woman. perhaps an affirmation is deserved?
winston: excellent idea, a spank and linger i think.
charles: here she comes now.
-spank-… linger
miss wells: oooh!
winston: good report. see me after work!
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