airport wanker

an airport w-nker will drag around his/her over-sized wheely bag in complete disregard for others even if they are ascending an escalator (you wouldn’t see them going up a flight of stairs). without looking up from their latest iphone 6, they mope around the terminal appearing to have some sort of place they need to get to in a hurry i.e. a starbucks skinny late. at security they wait until one of the staff asks them whether or not they’ve got any toiletries, laptops, or tablets when finally they start rummaging through their excessive bags to get them. “have you got a belt?”….”oh yes i do”. eventually, when they’ve got through security, they get so carried away with browsing in ralph lauren perfume shops that they end up late for their flight, holding up everyone else once again. if they make it to the plane they then have to manipulate their hand luggage into the overhead lockers and end up requiring cabin crew -ssistance. there’s always that one unlucky p-ssenger who has to be seated next to them and hear the never-ending tapping on their stupid ipad as they play ‘candy crush’. you’ll know when you see an airport w-nker as you’ll find yourself thinking: ‘what f-cked-up psycho g-d would create these people.’
“omg did you see that airport w-nker. he spent two hours in the hugo boss shop drinking a skinny latte with his wheely bag blocking everything.”