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a shoe-selling, beer-ingesting, hormone raging hero to people of all races and ages. a fictional super-man from chicago, illinois who from 1987-1997 spoke for the every-man who lived in a repet-tive nightmare of a dysfunctional matrimony and a life devoid of interesting activity
the all-american dad

bundyology

al bundy
the comforting feeling of sticking and resting your hand under the waist band of your pants while relaxing.
a beer in one hand, al bundy in the other…
the king of men.
all hail al bundy!
the epitome of sarcasm and apathy. the feeling of total helplessness in a world of women’s scorn, amazonian masterhood, and specials on import beer.
its a mad, mad al bundy world out there, thank god for bigguns and girly girl beer.
after many years watching ‘married with children’ reruns, most young al-keeblers and iraqi and iranian kids were led to believe the father figure on the show was a glimpse into george w. bush, the early years, and began calling the satanic worshiping leader of amerika, ‘al-bundy’, sometimes ‘al-w-bundy’.

bundy and bush translate similarly. but bundy was the only american on tv who made as little sense as the bush.
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iraq child # 1: did you hear about the air strike against the ashrah al-mubashra mosque in central basra — it’s the second sunni mosque destroyed in two days.
iraq child # 2: isn’t that where ayad ryand moved to?
iraq child # 3: i still remember the night the amerikan invasion and occupation began. an absolute horror – dozens of severed bodies – scattered limbs – my family in pieces.
iraq child # 4: why does al-bundy hate us so much?

all: in the name of allah, the beneficent, the merciful.
praise be to allah, the cherisher and sustainer of the worlds;
most gracious, most merciful;
master of the day of judgment.
thee do we worship, and thine aid we seek.
show us the straight way, the way of those on whom thou hast bestowed thy grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.
i seek refuge with the lord of the dawn,
from the mischief of created things;
from the mischief of darkness as it overspreads;
from the mischief of those who practice secret arts
and from the mischief of the envious one as he practices envy.
aameen

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“it’s a butcher’s shop of chopped-up corpses…. all victims are farmers, women and children.” – roland huguenin-benjamin, a spokesman for the international committee of the red cross in iraq, describes how the american cl-ster bombs are liberating iraqi children, april 4, 2003

“what difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?” – mohandas gandhi

“i object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.” – mohandas gandhi

“the first casualty when war comes is truth.” – senator hiram johnson, 1917

“the most fundamental purpose of government is defense, not empire.” – joseph sobran

“here’s your enemy for this week, the government says. and some gullible americans click their heels and salute – often without knowing who or even where the enemy of the week is.” – charley reese, 1998

“the most successful war seldom pays for its losses.” – thomas jefferson

“america does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. she is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. she well knows that by enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy and ambition, which -ssume the colors and usurp the standards of freedom.” – john quincy adams, 1821

“there never was a good war or a bad peace.” – benjamin franklin, 1773

“where is it written in the const-tution, in what section or clause is it contained, that you may take children from their parents and parents from their children, and compel them to fight the battle in any war in which the folly or the wickedness of government may engage it?” – daniel webster

“the most important element of a free society, where individual rights are held in the highest esteem, is the rejection of the initiation of violence. all initiation of force is a violation of someone else’s rights, whether initiated by an individual or the state, for the benefit of an individual or group of individuals, even if it’s supposed to be for the benefit of another individual or group of individuals. legitimate use of violence can only be that which is required in self-defense.” – congressman ron paul, (r) texas

“why of course the people don’t want war. why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? naturally, the common people don’t want war; neither in russia, nor in england, nor for that matter in germany. that is understood. but after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship… voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. that is easy. all you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.” – hermann wilhelm göring, hitler’s designated successor and commander of the luftwaffe (german air force)
g-d
al bundy is god
when a player on your fantasy football team scores 4 touchdowns in a single game.
my running back just scored his third touchdown. one more and he will pull off an al bundy.

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