AP Biology

a time and mind-consuming vortex of dispair, from which there is no excape. it destroys gpa’s, self esteem, and dreams of one day becoming a biologist.
i used to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night, but now i have to study for ap biology and only get 3.
a time consuming pain in the -ss that should be taken if you really are that curious about the world and why it is the way it is.
holy sh-t, ap biology is a b-tch of a cl-ss. oh well, i got an a second semester.
an extensive college course that teaches you absolutely nothing useful. after taking this course, if you did it right, you’ll be able to explain cellular respiration and how plants essentially have s-x. though if people asked about these subjects, they’d think you’re really smart, the truth is that no one gives a sh-t so unless you’re an ap sl-t and bring up these topics in daily conversations, this cl-ss is yet another example of a completely useless course that everyone takes solely to impress colleges who really shouldn’t give a d-mn. and if you’re an ap sl-t, you deserve a slap (get it ? sl-t + ap = slap?)
“hey this salad is reaaally good. you want some?”
“nah i’m good, i think my mitochondria have enough glucose from my breakfast to continue with cellular respiration. thanks though.”
“daa f-ck?!”
“oh you want to know more of this useless, boring information? you should take ap biology with me.”
“you’re such an ap sl-t!”
“speaking of ap’s, do you know the difference between monocots and dicots? well let me tell you…”
-slap
a time consuming, yet easily memorized cl-ss that creates a lasting impression on the student. the cl-ss is filled with minutia and bio jokes. the ap exam is laughably easy and is an insult to the intelligence of all ap biology students.
ap biology joke: “what came first? the atp or oxidative phosphorylation?”
a college-level cl-ss that isn’t really that hard but requires you to memorize a sh-tload of information for the ap test. it’s a good cl-ss if you actually want to study biology in college.
ap biology stole my friends, my social life, and my girlfriend. but now i don’t have to pay $700 to take the cl-ss in college!
a pretty easy cl-ss, taken by mostly seniors, a couple juniors and one or two soph-m-re(s). there’s a lot of reading, though, the cl-ss comes along with a 2000-page campbell’s book that probably weighs more than that soph-m-re in the cl-ss. there’s a lot of busy work in the cl-ss that people copy from the internet anyways. the tests aren’t too bad, most are common sense but due to the fact that the cl-ss average is a 54%, the curve is really generous. ap bio used to require one to have the memorization skills of a computer but due to the changes this year the only thing required is to have practical skills in science.
kid 1: hey what did you get on the ap biology test?
kid 2: i got a d but the curve rounded it up to a b.
kid 1: alright, high five! -slap-
the death wish that at some point you will inevitably regret making.

synonym: social suicide
“hey what cl-sses are you taking next year?”

“calculus, cooking, ap biology…”

“……..it was nice knowing you.”

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