Aquanads


noun: the (sometimes referred to as) “super-human” power of elongated feet. this mutation causes the person to swim at abnormally fast speeds, run great distances in short amounts of time, and in some cases, jump to heights that are nearly impossible to reach. it is notable that elongated shoes for people with this mutation are very hard to find, and sometimes they resort to unorthodox methods of footwear.
“my aquanads are so annoying, i can’t find any shoes that fit anymore!”

“i love the beach, but i’m embarr-ssed about people seeing my aquanads…”

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