Armond White
annoying hack of a film critic that gives bad reviews to good films and good reviews to bad films, with the reviews being pretentious and nonsensical. on rotten tomatoes, he has only agreed with the tomatometer 51% of the time! everyone knows, however, that he only does this for attention since his reviews are always the most discussed.
here’s a list of films he hates:
up (97%)
the dark knight (94%)
the hangover (78%)
star trek (95%)
watchmen (64%, i don’t care if it’s low, it’s still one of my favorite movies)
wall-e (96%)
the wrestler (98%)
benjamin b-tton (73%)
gran torino (80%)
slumdog millionaire (94%)
burn after reading (78%)
h-llboy 2 (88%)
iron man (93%)
compared to movies he “likes”:
transformers 2 (20%)
land of the lost (28%)
dance flick (27%)
confessions of a shopaholic (23%)
bedtime stories (23%)
transporter 3 (38%)
what happens in vegas (27%)
chuck & larry (13%, he called it a “modern cl-ssic”)
so yeah, white is an attention-seeking idiot.
isn’t it weird that he’s a black man who’s last name is white and he likes bad movies and hates good movies?
armond white is just an idiot.
3 more definitions
a genius who has made a career out of trolling movie fans by giving bad reviews to critically acclaimed and/or high-quality films.
in order to further incense fans, white’s reviews are generally filled with incomprehensible, psuedo-intellectual rambling about subjects only tangentially related to the film at hand, and ultimately he will offer no concrete reasoning as to his contrarian opinions. of course this is all carefully plotted for maximum lulz, and indeed, his reviews are extensively discussed on the internet by rabid fanboys, thus giving him huge amounts of pr and exposure. brilliant.
white is paid well for the privilege of p-ssing people off, and i for one think we should salute him as the final evolution of the /b/tard.
armond white’s recent negative toy story 3 review had almost 500 comments, five times more than any other review, and all flaming him. the man knows what he’s doing.
an armond white is somebody who disagrees with you/others/the establishment purely to get attention. similar to a devil’s advocate, but instead of advancing an argument, the armond white just wants to annoy you or feel rebellious.
named after the movie critic armond white, who hates films like “slumdog millionare” and thinks “i now pr-nounce you chuck and larry” is a, quote, “modern cl-ssic.”
can be shortened to just armond for a more obscure reference.
“are you kidding me? the beatles suck! vanilla ice is miles ahead of them. have you even listened to music before?”
“fine, armond white, be that way…”
a film critic who’s gotten a name for himself by praising bad movies and panning good movies. in fact, film fans on rottentomatoes and imdb have made it a game to place bets on when his negative review will pop up for a good movie, and vice versa
his modus operandi is reviewing films by going off into incoherent rants, patronizing whoever disagrees with him, and making incredibly vague references to “nihilism” to attack films/filmmakers he doesn’t like, or their fans.
“nolan’s dark sentimentality may seem cl-ssical to naive filmwatchers”–armond white reviewing “inception”, proving he’s incapable of writing a review without pettily talking down to people who disagree with him
“white is, as charged, a troll; a smart and knowing one, but a troll”–roger ebert, getting it right
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