Ashburton
the tourism and adventure capital of new zealand. founded in 1876 by two transvest-te hookers, an old guy and a dog that played basketball because it wasn’t against the rules, ashburton quickly became known for excitement, prost-tution and backgammon. recently it has developed into a sprawling cityscape, and has plans to hold the new zealand national sheep-boxing compet-tion.
ashburton is the old-people meat export capital of the world.
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