Ass Gasket


noun.
history: believed to be a gallagher-ism (american comic of 1980s & 1990s known mostly for pulverizing melons w/a huge slegehammer in his shows).
definition: those wisp-thin, slightly waxy paper toilet seat covers offered in public toilets to protect one’s bodunkadunk from coming in contact with someone else’s funk.
when using the toilet at the port authority bus terminal, always put an -ss gasket down before you cop a squat.
n. the toilet seat covers commonly found in public restrooms.
ken left the stall with the -ss gasket hanging out of his pants.
a paper toilet seat cover.

also called a texas t-shirt or a portagee pegnoir.

this expression was common in the 1950s, and long time before the gallagher was born. it’s probably much older than that.
the fastidious mrs. feinman always uses an -ss gasket in public commodes.
the disposable toilet-seat tissue which prevents your -ss from touching the toilet seat upon defecation.
“d-mn, that sh-t is rancid! i need an -ssgasket!”
paper toilet seat covers used to protect your -ss from un-sanitary restroom conditions, such as splatter, shrapnel, coat the bowl and peeing out of my b-tt. it provides a nice, clean seal between your b-m and the nasty toilet seat during those times when you just have to go.
the toilet stole my -ss gasket!
paper toilet seat covers
they ran out of -ss gaskets in the bathroom, so i had to make a sofa out of tp.
the razor-thin, paper toilet seat covers dispensed in public restrooms with the sole intention of deluding the user’s basic hygienic standards, enabling him or her to “take up throne” in a creepy bathroom stall.
“i had to cr-p so bad that i covered my mouth and nose, waded through what looked like bile on the gas stations bathroom floor, kicked open the stall door, pulled out one of those -ss gaskets from the dispenser, and calmly sat upon the fidgeting toilet seat.”

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