asshole tax

a tax added to one’s subtotal of a bill, who generally acts like an -sshole. this usually works because most -ssholes aren’t willing to do their math.
“that guy was p-ssing me off, so i charged him -sshole tax.”
a tax, mostly given to minors, who are having someone of legal age buy them alcohol, or cigarettes. any item they cannot personally purchase themselves
hey mike, you charged those kids an -sshole tax for that alcohol? good job.
a non-refundable fee -ssessed on debts owed to fed-up friends
you may owe me $80, but i want $100. why? you’re late. that’s your -sshole tax.

see also _fight club_
clothes, food/drinks, music, dvds, books and/or other miscellaneous gear that is left behind for the taking after a friend or significant other unexpectedly disappears.
that’s a cool bike! where did you get it?
oh, zack left it at my house before he suddenly broke up with me.
are you going to give it back?
no, i’m considering it -sshole tax.

hey! i like your hat!
thanks! it was gina’s before she became a bat sh-t crazy b-tch and stopped hanging out with me.
oh sweet, so it’s her -sshole tax.
in the service industry: an employee or owner of a business uses all their discretionary power against a customer who is consistently an -sshole. this is a hidden tax since people in service are rarely allowed to call -ssholes on their behavior.
alice: you could have totally given that guy a discount.
bob: he always ask for a discount.
alice: oh, well. i guess he just paid the -sshole tax.

carol: why didn’t you hold it for me.
dave: i was too busy cleaning up after you.

eve: why won’t you take that guys return.
frank: he returns something every week, he needs to pay the -sshole tax.
the art of boosting the price of a service because of how incompetent and thoughtless the customer was.
…little sh-t asked me to go do a job at 8 pm! i told him no, and he said “how about tomorrow, after lunch?”. i accepted, though i still put a fifty dollar -sshole tax on it.
the burden (financial and otherwise) imposed by living in a society in which -ssholes exist.
needing locks on doors is a basic example. you step outside, shut the door, realize you locked yourself out and are stuck on the front steps in your bare feet in february. you are paying the -sshole tax.

or, at the airport, having to take off your shoes because someone once thought it was a good idea to try to blow up a plane with a shoe and someone else thought making everyone in their world take of their shoes would prevent that from ever happening again. the inconvenience is a small -sshole tax. if you pick up a foot fungus from walking barefoot or sock-footed where thousands of others have, you’re paying a bigger -sshole tax.

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