ASSWHAFFLE

is a person that will lean on your dock box with a cold beer and tell you what you’re doing wrong on that smokey diesel as you swear, kick and sweat. they’ll come to your rescue with a cold beer, a willing hand, tools and shared lessons learned the hard way. much like a kid, you won’t listen and someday after you’ve “matured” in this new life of wind and sails, you might be the -sswhaffle p-ssing along your knowledge to the new guy.
or it might be that arm chair sailor that really did know his sh-t back in the the day, who for reasons unknown can’t be on the water that he loves anymore, but he longs to share his glorious stories; listen to his stories with your bs filter turned on high: you might learn, laugh, walk away shaking your head in disbelief or you might just be getting a glimpse into your future
an -sswhaffle will loan you their cleanest dirty shirt for a job interview at the bike rental shop so you can live your dream on your boat.
an -sswhaffle will, in light jest (unless you jeopardize the safety of p-ssengers, crew & those around you), point out the errors of your ways so that you become a safer -sswhaffler for the safety of -sswhafflers on all of mother earth’s waterways.
an -sswhaffle is someone that’s a little funky, eccentric, marches to the beat of their own drum, makes their own rules, helps others when (s)he can, never wastes what (s)he takes from mother earth & always pays it forward.
(c) kristine e gentry 2015
i went over to the tiki bar looking for an -sswhaffle to help me scr-pe paint off of the hull of my boat.