bagfoot
a species of biped reported to roam the forests of southeastern ohio. bagfoots inhabit the licorice fields where they prefer a solitary existence. however, encroaching settlement is reported to stir them from hiding. the bagfoot is inaudible at close quarters, but from far away the screeching tones of his bagpipe feet rend the air. the bagfoot’s body is encased in a dark, leathery gingerbread flesh. his head is 2-dimensional and circular with a line for a mouth, which, when opened, reveals a sharklike arrangement of fangs. the bagfoot wears a lead hat with a tungsten band and a sweater vest. he can speak and understand only song t-tles. he carries people away from campfires and holds them hostage in the licorice fields.
bagfoot, please don’t stand so close to me.
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