Basement hobbit buster
one who dresses up in an orange exterminator’s jumpsuit going from door to door offering bas-m-nt hobbit riddance services. bas-m-nt hobbit busters (bhb’s) specialize in freeing countless grannies and older mothers of their leeching sons and any bas-m-nt hobbit hoppers and offspring they may acc-mulate over the years. this is known to be such a n-ble profession. there is no need to exterminate the hoppers, since they will soon hop off to another loser in their mother’s bas-m-nt as soon as the original hobbit is gone. she will also take her acc-mulated offspring with her.
example 1;
bas-m-nt hobbit buster: “well, ma’am, it looks like you’ve got bas-m-nt hobbits… i heard a ruffling of a bag of chips over there… and i heard a fresh beer crack open.”
old lady: “oh dear.”
bhb: “well, i’ll only charge you for the original bas-m-nt hobbit, because that hopper sitting there on the couch will leave with her offspring to another once he’s gone.”
old lady: “oh, g-d bless ya’ darling”
bhb: “i sure hope you didn’t name any of them, since the extermination will be harder on you if you got attached to them.”
old lady: “oh… i named them all already. but at least my pension will slowly return to me.”
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