Battenburg


a bizarre s-xual practice found only in retirement homes. as nursing staff are generally unwilling to -ssist, partic-p-nts must make imaginative use of the equipment in the disabled toilet.

tv researchers have dedicated a disproportionate amount of time to this activity, mysteriously without ever airing any of the results.
“are you ready for a bit of battenburg, thora?”

“you’re a filthy f-cker alan!”

“yes i am, but that wasn’t a ‘no’, was it…”
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a groovy, tasty cake. sort of rocks. also an expletive with a very, very narrow band of users.
‘oh holy f-cking battenburg, man – my life is down the plughole’

‘no, it was battenburg seepage’

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    a short hand version of the word because. generally used in text messages and on line chatting. bcuz i want to. i didnt call bcuz i was busy.


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