beef dagger
n. a tool used to draw the beef curtains; a smaller but meatier pork sword; a dangerous stabbing weapon most effective when targetting the rusty sheriff’s badge or when thrown into salmon canyon; the giggle stick.
man: hey honey, what say we uncork a bottle of chardonnay, snuggle up and watch the notebook together?
wife: oh, how romantic!!!
man: actually, scr-p that idea – how about you bend over and i’ll thrust a beef dagger into your treacherous brown eye.
wife: oh no, not again!
man: spread ’em, b-msl-t!
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