Bifidus irregularis
this disease also known as great hall food syndrome, can cause severe nausea and weight loss. it is only contracted by eating food from the great hall at duke tip west campus. three weeks of a bifidus irregularis infection can result in weight loss exceeding 20lbs. people who survive their encounter with bifidus irregularis are known to be able to eat almost anything.
fat kid: “how did you lose 45 pounds in only 3 weeks?!?!?”
(now) skinny kid: “i caught a severe case of bifidus irregularis.”
fat kid: “west food, huh? how many other places is mcdonalds considered fine dining?”
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