Blackcore
a sub-genre that does not exist but will soon when the scene kids are finished ruining death metal with deathcore. it will be a mix of metalcore and black metal. it will sound like immortal fused with bullet for my valentine. common features of blackcore will be breakdowns every ten seconds and high pitched pig sequels. the bands will probably wear some thick eyeliner and black lipstick, some weird looking tattoos and piercings everywhere on their faces. the bands will not wear corpse paint as well. to summarize this is the scene version of black metal and we should do our best to stop the infection of metalcore.
remember kids…say no to metalcore!
scene kid: oh my god man have you heard this br00tal blackcore?
metalhead: what h-ll is that?
scene kid: the most br00tal thing next to deathcore. it’s like the popular and cool version of black metal. its metalcore fused with black metal.
metalhead: -sighs and walks away-.
a sub-genre that hasn’t been invented yet but soon will be. it will sound like black metal, yet minus the originality, and add in pig squeals, random breakdowns every ten seconds, and an annoying emo clean vocal metalcore voice. its lyrics will not contain stuff about satanism, occult, paganism, etc. instead it will sing about relationships and broken hearts. the bands will dress in the spikes and leather but only wear heavy loads of make up, not corpse paint. they will have emo haircuts and hold battle axes and swords in there pictures, trying to show how “tr00 kvlt” they are. they will not give a d-mn about the music but only care about being popular and wetting the panties of girls in the age ranges from 12-19. it will also be all over places that hate music such as mtv.
-emo scene kid taps on a black metal fan’s shoulder-
black metal fan: “yes?”
emo scene kid: “have you heard of blackcore?”
black metal fan: “no i can’t say i have…”
emo scene kid: “oh d00d! its so br00t4l! its like bring me the horizon and immortal mixed! here give it a try!”
-black metal fan slugs the kid in the stomach, pushes him down and kicks him-
black metal fan: “f-cking poser…”
a metalcore sub-genre that will exist when scene kids decide to stop destroying death metal. they will wear make up, write about relationships, and do r-t-rded breakdowns. it will sound like mayhem and the devil wears prada mixed. it will feature pig squeals and emo vocals. it will become popular among the “cool kids”
metalcore kid: “d00d this blackcore is the the greatest thing ever invented!”
actual metalhead: “f-ckin douche”
-beats kid til he cant breathe-
a genre that is guaranteed to exist one day once deathcore dies down a bit. it will include elements from gorgoroth and behemoth with pig squeals, shrieking, and satanic lyrics. along with elements borrowed from bullet for my valentine and all that remains with emo and screamo related lyrics. it will have a crowd of emo kids who think they are hardcore because their music is satanic. most of these kids will be 9 – 12, but the real fans will be 13 – 16. it won’t last long and will have moderate mainstream value.
blackcore kid: hey have you heard of blackcore?
metalcore or black metal fan: no i haven’t.
blackcore kid: oh, its totally hardcore and your dumb gorgoroth stuff doesn’t compare.
metalcore or black metal fan: ugh, whatever -sigh-
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