bleedoutofyourassitis

a term describing a condition which, unless promptly treated, causes those afflicted by it to slowly die from bleeding out of their -n-s.

if you or one of your friends experiences some or all of the following symptoms: your sh-t turning red, red stains on the toilet paper you used to wipe your -ss, your -sshole suddenly experiencing a large increase in its diameter and/or circ-mference, chronic pain in your rear or every-time you sit down, strange and often random objects suddenly appearing in or out of your -sshole etc….you are at a serious risk of having this sickness and should immediately get your -sshole checked out by a trained physician.

scientists know very little about bleedoutofyour-ssitis, but recent studies have shown that it spreads via “carriers” who are highly resistant, but not immune to the sickness themselves. these co called “carriers” tend to exhibit some or all of the following personality characteristics: extreme aggressiveness, above average strength, disregard for life other than their own, and a strange obsession with -ssholes and shoving things in them that normally wouldn’t fit.

scientists have also identified a gene in the dna of certain humans that makes them more susceptible to bleedoutofyour-ssitis. this gene is also directly related to having certain personality characteristics, such as: getting on people’s nerves, doing things without thinking them through, not having the ability and/or willingness to protect one-self’s behind etc.
1)
omar: “d-ck, hit on my sister again and my shoe is going to give you an extreme case of bleedoutofyour-ssitis!”

d-ck: “da f-ck is that?”
omar: “look it up in the dictionary if you are that interested”

2)
nick: “hey, did you guys hear? d-ck got hospitalized yesterday!”
bobby: “yeah, i heard he was in surgery earlier today, and that the doctors had to remove two cowboy-boot-shaped tumors from his -ss. something ripped his -sshole so much that they couldn’t stop the bleeding without completely sewing it shut!”

peter: “dude i saw a “house” episode about that! think its called bleedoutofyour-ssitis!”
nick: “that poor b-st-rd! well, i think i am gonna make my move on omar’s sister while d-ck is in the hospital!”