Brady Bunch of Liberals

in a world where sparkle is valued over substance, looking like you have the perfect family is far more important than maintaining one. same goes for looking like you’re an aging hippie. but only when these two pretenses have been combined, granted the pretender earns an average household income of anywhere between 35-60 thousand dollars a year, you have the beginning of a brady bunch of liberals.

bbl refers specifically to a nuclear (two parents and a kid+), lower middle to middle cl-ss family that subsists on two -or more, if one of the kids gets a job at the local head shop or 7/11- incomes. they pretend that their domestic life is perfect, but at the same time complain about all the vintage foreign film posters and african inspired baskets they could have bought with their children’s tuition money.

the kids, despite living in an upscale city suburb with so much exposure to all that real world hustle ‘n’ bustle, are flat-out naive. this is because they are a) too evolved for tv. b) too poor for tv. c) watch boot legs of 70’s cartoons fanatically. a cult-like celebration is held every time moon bird ii figures out a cuss word, or baby lyric jacks-off in front of mom’s progressive book club.

it is no doubt that mom and dad bbl were avid drug users, alcoholics, and over-all complete wastes of sp-ce in their hay-day, which is why they’re so liberal with letting a 5 year old puff a cigarette or providing their son with the karma sutra for his bar mitzvah at the recording studio in the ghetto that some guy runs as a synagogue when not paying his bail fine.

so in short: they’ll -ssist a 12-year-old girl to get drunk off her -ss for “educational reasons”, but seeing as she’s been raised in a brady bunch of liberals, she better get her shoes off the couch or “so help me, fictional character known as jesus!!!!!!!!!!”
man 1: i saw man 2 at bed, bath, and beyond yesterday. i swear, his wife’s making them a brady bunch of liberals.
man 3: how so?
man 1: he was asking the clerk for scented candles in the shape of various religious symbols to “light in the windowsill come chrismahannukwanza day.

girl 1: want to come over tomorrow?
girl 2: yeah, we can go to the pool.
girl 1: actually, i was wondering if you could come to this protest rally with me and my mom’s girlfriend? it’s in dc.
girl 2: that’s sort of far away. i might need to call you some time tonight when i’ve asked my parents.
girl 1: don’t call after 7:00, that’s wind-down time.
girl 2: ….
girl 1: you know, meditation, to help me go to sleep…
girl 2: at 7 pm?
girl 1: i’ll just smoke some pot if i’m not tired yet.