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the final installment in the twilight saga that crushed the souls of thousands and thousands of crazed teenaged girls with it’s horrible and slightly perverted themes.

spoilerific summary:

– bella, the human, and edward, the vampire, get married.

– then they have rough s-x that leaves her bruised and battered. (also, he bites a pillow and covers her with feathers.)

– then she gets totally pregnant with some kind of demon death baby who grows at a superhuman rate, can read thoughts in the womb, drinks blood in utero, and breaks bella’s ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside.

– some werewolf stuff happens and jacob (20 year old werewolf) falls in love with the tiny demon death baby which sparked many confused and slightly disturbed comments and thoughts in readers around the country.

– the baby is delivered via cesarean section, which is a polite way of saying that other characters rip bella’s stomach open with their teeth. (“seriously, they cannot make this into a movie. i cannot imagine for one second how they could make this into a movie appropriate for teenage girls and keep this part in it.”)

– bella becomes a vampire and develops superpowers and has s-x with edward a lot of times.

– everybody lives happily forever after.

the book does however leave one major unanswered question: what’s it like doing it with the undead? “was it like f-cking a popsicle?” alas, we’ll never know.

the book was met with an awful response from the fans and motions to return every copy have been put in place.
after i read breaking dawn, i returned it. it was awful and slightly messed up.
will henceforth be known as “breaking fail, “epic fail”, or “failboat epic”.
the final instalment in the bewilderingly popular twilight saga about mary sue and gary stu and their sparkly love of doom.
so bad, it warranted book-returning pet-tions.
that breaking dawn book made my brain hurt.
the, by far, worst of the twilght saga, and a huge disappointment. fans everywhere are claiming they are over the books because of the completely horrible plot of breaking dawn. many people are complaining about stephenie meyer going back on what she had said before about vampires being able to have children. she should have mentioned the certain type of vampire that can in fact, have children.
quite a few fans decided not to buy the book because of the spoilers that were released before the book was coming out. someone got ahold of the first seven chapters, and many did not buy the atrocity stephenie meyer called a book because of it.
are you buying breaking dawn??
yeah, i need kindling for my fireplace.
the fourth book in the popular twilight saga, and a terrible waste of money and time.

not only did it not even compare to the quality of the first three volumes, it also mangled multiple beloved characters, lacked a climax, read like a bad fanfiction and produced possibly the worst name in existence.

it disappointed many long-time fans, and did not deserve the hype it got.
after reading breaking dawn, i only felt a strong urge to strangle cannibaby, (otherwise known as reneesme carlie cullen) not a sense of closure.
what is this “breaking dawn” you speak of? fourth twilight book?
no, the saga ended at eclipse. there is no such thing as renesmee, bella’s nasty hormones, or stuffing her face with eggs that edward made for her on their unrealistic island in the sun, or jacob becoming just as much of a pedophile as edward is.
no.
breaking dawn never happened. it was just a bad dream people. wake up now.
last page of eclipse:
“i pushed my legs faster, letting jacob black disappear behind me…
but then i turned back around and forced that filthy bloodsucker to turn bella into a vampire before he could knock her up so that little monster was never born, and then i hooked up with leah. happily ever after.”
breaking dawn. pssht.
sequel to twilight, new moon and eclipse, also known as an epic fail to those who do not suffer from smeyer glorification.
gave birth to the demon sp-wn nudger renesmee carlie cullen (a.k.a. nessie)
and with its release it destroyed a fan base with a mere 800 pages
nothing equals this epic fail, also known as breaking dawn, i lack examples.
the final installment of the ever popular, “twilight” saga.
although t-tled “breaking dawn”, breaking records is more like it. even three months before it’s released, and it’s already on the top ten barnes & n-ble bestseller list!
in breaking dawn, we will finally be exposed the fate of edward & bella.

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