Bret Michaels
a pathetic, bald, talentless, spray-on tanned, middle-aged -ss clown who is the lead singer of the 80’s glam rock band poison. the only reason he is able to make a living is because there are equally pathetic forty-somethings who seem intent on re-living the “good old days” of hairspray and cr-ppy music.
oh my g-d, is that bret michaels? i thought for sure he would have put his head in an oven by now!!
lead vocalist of poison. poison is a heavy metal band established in the late 1980’s. bret michaels also stars on the vh1 hit show, rock of love.
ashley-“hey, did you see rock of love last night?”
rachel-“yeah! bret michaels was looking pretty d-mn hot.”
20ish years ago1980’s: a pretty awesome & hot lead singer for the kick–ss hair metal band poison.
present day: a giant tool-bag who doesn’t know how to age well, whose best friend is his right hand, and still thinks he is 20 years old and can get all the girls he wants. we’ll just call it a mid-life crisis.
zach: look, it’s bret michaels.
robin: what a shame. he used to be so cool
zach: yea too bad he’s a giant toolbag now.
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