Broods Before Dudes
an unwritten yet powerful law governing the lifestyle choices of domesticated adult males. the law automatically goes into effect following the appearance of the first offspring and it immediately supercedes the “bros before hoes” ordinance (if said regulation has not already been ruled unconst-tutional by the ranking female domestic partner). the law is often invoked by disapproving mother-in-laws, with a chiding tone of voice and the words “family first” (and sometimes accompanied by a finger wag).
depending on tribal customs and which side of the bed local authorities got up on, the law may dramatically reduce or outright prohibit a broad variety of activities including: shooting hoops, watching the game, fishing trips, gaming binges, nights out with the boys, poker nights, ultra violent action movie nights, getting drunk and ogling women way out of your league nights… the list goes on.
the true impact of the law is felt not just by the adult male (i.e. “father”), but also indirectly by the man’s best bros, extended friends, co-workers, and the many merchants and facilitators that typically service “the boys” when they go out. in recent years many (men) have cited the negative impact of the law on local economies but, unlike the exhaustive research behind the “bros before hoes” legislation, those subject to “broods before dudes” are generally to exhausted by the end of the day to argue, much less do an economic impact -n-lysis.
see also: bros before hoes
friend 1: bro, you down with beers this friday?
friend 2: (to self, recalling the face of his infant child staring up at him) …broods before dudes…
friend 1: (recognizing the blank stare) never mind, man. you’ve got stuff going on… how is dancing with the stars these days?
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