brown bidet
a jet of diarrhea that comes out at such a velocity that, upon hitting the water in the toilet bowl, causes water and/or liquid fecal matter to splash back up onto the b-ttocks or -n-s. this stream from the bowl often resembles a bidet, but only serves to make a mess rather than clean.
“sorry i used all your toilet paper, but i had a lot to clean up after the brown bidet.”
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