Canadian Parking Meter
(cpm) a s-x postion requiring a prost-tute, a roll of quarters, a pocket knife and a bottle of canadian maple syrup. this is an extremely difficult maneuver. it requires a lot of vigor and practice. i have been able to accomplish this feat only twice, and i am considered a canadian parking meter guru. this maneuver is very dangerous. there are only two other doc-mented cases of this challenge ever being completed. to start your journey of completing the cpm you’ll need to engage in doggy style s-x with the prost-tute. keep going until you are about to -j-c-l-t- and right as it begins to shoot out flip around and squirt that wh-r- in the eye, but don’t use all of your c-m. jump back around and c-m in her -sshole. take the roll of quarters and put it in a fist, and punch that b-tch in the back of the head knocking her out. here is where the bottle of maple syrup comes in. take the cap off and shove it in her -ss emptying the bottle. save the bottle however, you’ll need it again later. take the pocket knife and cut the bottom half of the syrup bottle off creating a makeshift funnel. deeply insert the funnel in her -ss then break the roll of quarters in the funnel allowing her payment to be timely and efficient (the syrup ensures the quarters stick to the inside of her -n-s. you’ll need to leave as soon as possible the end result is an extremely satisfied customer and a p-ssed off wh-r-. but once she takes a sh-t she’ll see the quarters and be like “hey he did pay me after all!”
i attempted the canadian parking meter and ended up with a murder charge.
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