canned report
a useless page full of numbers arranged by some software company in order to make themselves and the purchasers feel good, but which will deliver no meaningful or useful information for making any decision whatsoever. they usually have stale data and are full of bugs.
“hey bob, did you get the canned report from fred, the back office monkey? jim at headquarters is asking for it.” “no” said bob, “that tps report system froze up on me. what the f-ck does jim do with it anyways? we all know its bullsh-t. and i bet he’s uptight about the bold formatting too…”
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