Cannie


a coin word used in informal speech in some of society’s more exclusive circles which refers to a cannibal — an individual (or group of individuals) who consume the flesh of their own species; derived as an abbreviated & affectionate form of the word “cannibal,” and necessary for use in avoiding the incidental stigma of cannibalism while in conversation. users of “cannie” are typically sympathetic toward the idea of cannibalism, such that “cannie” becomes a term of solidarity and declaration of agreement with cannibalism.
person a: “i recommend you travel to papua new guinea and ask for the longpig — it’s just to die for.”

person b: “what exactly is longpig?”

person a: “you’d know if you were a cannie…”

—- —

person c: “where can i find some of that sweetest of meats around here?”

person d: “what are you? a cop? a narc?”

person c: “no, i’m cool, cannie!”

—- —

person e: “omg, cannibalism is so wrong! so evil! so vile! cannibals go to h-ll! they all deserve to go to jail!”

person f: “look, lady — we cannies know that it’s far better to put dead flesh to use & not let it rot; this, after all, is in the best interests of our mindset about limited resources, is it not? besides, it’s not like we cannies are necessarily murderers, nor are we criminals — think of how many die of subsidiary or natural causes on a daily basis. finally, if you think it’s so bad to eat someone when they’re already dead — which is a trivial act in my mind — think of all the insurance companies who eat people while they’re still alive! besides, you just don’t know what you’re missing…”

—- —

it ain’t easy bein a cannie… our food of choice ain’t exactly usda-certified!
a joke people make:

me: if australians are aussies… how about we become cannies?
you: haha that’s funny
australian to aussie
canadian to cannie

its very simple =)

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