carpenter

a man who has wood and does things with it. carpenters use their tools for such purposes as scr-w-ng, drilling, and reaming. rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as scr-w-ng. carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
while carpentry is an important and serious subject – after all, without it, we wouldn’t have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors – the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make cr-ss s-xual innuendos.
carpenters themselves, of which i am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote the bible.
drilling, scr-w-ng, nailing, reaming, rubbing – all things done by a carpenter.
someone who has a hammer, aka a big d-ck.
girl 1: dan is such a carpenter
girl 2: why is that?
girl 1: he has a hammer!
girl 2: a hammer?
girl 1: yeah, a big d-ck!!
a person who is a problem solver for a high cl-ss crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.
the carpenter mad johnny the rat disappear.
a chick who is an expert at nailing wood. in other words, a prost-tute.
i was just looking for some local “carpenters” online.
to be lil’ spooned by a strange man with nothing on but boxers for an entire weekend.
matt was carpentered while in san diego.
the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.
“dude! i almost went to the hospital ’cause that b-tch tried to give me a carpenter”
what jesus did as his part time job lol
jesus was good with handling wood lol him and his little fisher price carpenter toolkit

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