cat-bombs

surprise, nocturnal cat attacks in which they fly silently through the air from unknown locations and alt-tudes before pouncing with full force anywhere on your bed at night.
jim: “thanks for letting me spend the night sally, i always knew this day would come. your cat is sooo cute! does he always sleep all day? sally? where are you?
sally: yes, yes he does jim. i’m under these six quilts and if you know what’s good for you, you’d better do the same.
jim: are you kidding me? it’s the middle of summer!

sally: no, no i’m not kidding jim. i’m sorry to say i have a really bad problem with cat-bombs and most men only stay over once after seeing their faces in the morning.

jim: where did you say you were again?
a fart occuring in close proximity to one’s face.
whiskers cat bombed me as i was scratching her b-tt.
when a cat with nails is thrown in the air by one person at another person or animal. the claws of the cat are thus exposed and are known to scratch the victims body
gage just cat bombed john from across the room!
verb; the act of cheerfully spamming a friends facebook wall by liking as many posts as human possibly, and adding an absurd number of cat/kitten videos. usually performed at night while the victim is asleep. so upon next arrival to “facebook.” they are shocked to see around 150+ notifications and get extremely uneasy. then to settle this uneasiness dozens of kitten videos! wooo!

1. like every post done by the victim, on the victims wall for 3+ years preferably. remember it is all relative to how active the victim is with facebook, and as well get your friends involved in this let them know to like everything that. the goal is as many notifications as humanly possible.
2. post as many cat/kitten videos as human possibly. be creative with the postings. add your own personal flare to it. create your own reaction photo/video.

3. once the kitten mayhem has been unleashed. start to like every video you posted. again, let your friends know, heck let anyone know who knows the victim to like every cat video that has been posted.
“megan help me facebook catbomb heather we need to get her back and she has been s-ssing me quite a bit, as of late so let’s get her back in a cute yet witty way. let us catbomb her -ss.”

“yo, alex i just cat bombed my girlfriends older sister”
“oooohh catbomb”
recipe:

1 restrained cat
1 propane tank
a length of tubing
cannon fuse
stapler
first, have a friend hold the cat in place. run the tubing and the fuse side by side up the cat’s -ss. attach opposite end of tubing to propane tank and fill cat to a plump fatness, but not too fat to run. remove tubing from cat’s -ss while holding fuse in place. staple cat’s -ss shut, light the fuse and kick the cat near a highly populated place, like inside a walmart.

you get 15-30 seconds of wild sprinting cat then all of a sudden….

boom!!! and a spray of red mist and fried cat guts! thus creating the “cat bomb”