Chairsexual
the state of only being s-xually attracted to chairs. often confused with as-xuality, a chairs-xual person is often recognized by an almost sigh-like sound coming from the mouth when one sits. another sign of a chairs-xual is having a specific seat in which the person always sits and becomes upset when another person sits in their ‘spot’.
frank: brad, we could’ve sworn you were as-xual!
brad: nope, i’m just chairs-xual.
frank: what?
brad: i get a b-n-r when i see a chair.
frank: is that why you always sit in the same seat when you come to my house?
brad: yeah, that recliner is so s-xy…
frank:…
some may say that sheldon from the big bang theory is a chairs-xual, since he has a ‘spot’ and refrains from any other s-xual activity.
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