chip an’ chee


n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace british delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. profoundly sautéed in ‘graisse animale’, the chips (fries to non-uk english speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the ‘pièce de résistance’ – a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky “cheddar-syle” cheese available. voilà! delicious.

the mis-pr-nounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of britain’s millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak english.
-3 o’clock a.m., any town centre in the uk-
turkish guy at till: whatchoo wan’?
drunk customer: what? £5 for a kebab? i’ll have f–kin’ chips and cheese then.
turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): ey sanjeet, two chip an’ chee!

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