Christchurch

a city of around 400,000 people who jump into doorways and under tables on a regular basis. toilets are often holes in the ground, and portable toilets are present on many streets. sometimes one can see cr-p swimming down rivers to the sea. this is because so many of its residents sh-t themselves every time there is another earthquake. there is no central city any more – it all fell down. brick chimneys and unreinforced brick walls are to be avoided. so are tall buildings, hills and cliff faces. february 22 2011 was the shakiest day yet.
christchurch: the city that rocks
christchurch: it’s munted
biggest and best of all the oxford colleges, founded by cardinal wolsey and subsequently re-founded by henry viii. the only college to have a cathedral as its chapel. ’nuff said, really…
pembroke person: gosh, i wish christ church had accepted me. as it is, i’m stuck in this sh-thole across the road.
the largest city in the south island of new zealand, once used rather frequently by housewives and grandmothers as a mild expletive being roughly equivalent to gosh or darn.

while definitely not averse to using such words as f-ck and c-nt, modern new zealanders take great delight in reliving the stultifying drudgery of the 1950s and will often be heard to utter (at least ironically) the phrase “oh, christchurch!”, especially when tripping up, falling over, climaxing, etc.
sarah: i enjoy w-nking you.
mike: oh, christchurch! you’ve snapped my banjostring!
where you got to worship jesus
since you like jesus, i’ll probably see you at christchurch.