classy alcoholic


a person who has a severe alcohol problem in which they try to hide by calling it “cl-ssy”. most cl-ssy alcoholics are short and fat, due to lack of excersize and unhealthy eating habits and they are either from jersey or pretend to be from jersey (snooky from the jersey sh-r-). this term is used to mask a persons alcoholic behaviors from public ridicule and avoid interference from family members and friends who are trying to help. common characteristics of a cl-ssy alcoholic are sleeping thoughout the day and staying up all night, consuming m-ssive amounts of alcohol on religious days such as sundays, wearing clothing that is entirely too tight which shows every lump of a persons body, loud and belligerent public behavior, streams of cuss words when on the phone (especially with family members), rude and pigheadedness, and the belief that they are a princess when in fact, they are no more than fat, annoying, people who talk sh-t about others in order to cover up that they have a drinking problem and they hate their lives. cl-ssy alcoholics can trip and fall without spilling one drop of their soco (southern comfort) which can be beneficial at times. the lack of true friends and pain of living a promiscuous and loveless life will eventually kill the cl-ssy alcoholics faster than the eminent alcohol poisoning in their futures.
d’anna: no one can have any of my soco! it’s sunday night and it’s time for me to drankkk! it’s okay though because i’m a cl-ssy alcoholic.

the world: what a dumb fat b-tch. i hope she gets h-t by a car.

d’anna: i dgaf what you people say!

the world: obviously, because if you did you would have laid off the mcdonalds 3 years ago.
two words used to describe an individual that is a closet alcoholic. some symptoms include drinking on sundays, weekdays, they are loud, and they think they are the “bees knees”. typically these individuals think they live fabulous lifestyles but in reality they suck and n-body likes them or wants to be around them.
sl-t 1: its sunday night what should we do?
sl-t 2: lets go to scottsdale and act like movie stars and drink malt liquor
sl-t 1: great idea! i hope i get laid by a n-gg-r tonight because im a cl-ssy alcoholic

Read Also:

  • clean teen

    used to have casual s-x and drink and smoke, but goes against it later. to cleanse themselves of what they used to do. varies on person to person, but part of to be a clean teen is to dress modestly. can be confused with a straight-edge kid. slight difference. person a: look! she used to […]

  • CLP

    chief little p-n-s. as in someone with a little johnson. that kid is known as clp. cake like product. usually a dessert type item that has a spongy quality. i need a clp from the bakery or i’m going to lose my mind. abbr. cyber league players the clp tournament is tomorrow.

  • C-nuke

    a less offensive way of saying c-nt. for when you need to take things a level up from the f-bomb, but there are christians within earshot. “did you hear that sh-t? she totally dropped the c-nuke up in here! g-d i love that in a woman.”

  • cobra dome

    the cobra dome is a place where anything goes and limitless possibilities exist. usually followed by the action of snapping one’s thumb against the index and middle fingers by wildly flailing the wrist in a up and down motion. let’s go do stuff at the cobra dome!

  • cobra lung

    the most hardcore metal band in the south jersey region, tristate area, and quite possibly the world. if you go to their show, which you probably will, you will get severely injured and possibly killed due to hardcore moshing which is more than enough reasons for anyone who isn’t dead to attend. rape is also […]


Disclaimer: classy alcoholic definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.