Coat Envy


the state of intense jealousy one feels as a result of viewing a meat men in his signature glistening white coat. the swag which is produced by the donning of one’s meat coat has been known to cause feelings of murderous rage, s-xual pleasure and/or frustration, and an overall sense of security from being in the presence of a man of meat.
(after being viewed in full meat man attire)
“why are you hating on me so bad? oh, does someone have a case of coat envy?”

(two civilians discussing the meat men)
guy one – “sounds like you have a case of coat envy.”

guy two – “i don’t have coat envy!”

guy one – “freshmen year had a pretty bad case of coat envy myself, until the meat men stuck a parking cone up my -ss.”

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