Cockpiss

a c-ckp-ss is an irritating individual who is unaware of their status. c-ckp-ss’s can most frequently be found in bars and pubs, usually standing at the end of the bar making ‘friendly banter’ with the staff, and attempting to impress anyone who should come within eight feet of them with made up knowledge. the c-ckp-ss (whichever gender) has an insatiable appet-te for attention. a c-ckp-ss will never back down when it comes to knowledge on any given subject, even if they know nothing about it. a c-ckp-ss has an uncanny ability to fabricate his or her own life experiences when it comes to scoring points from the subject of his/her focus. c-ckp-ss’s have a tendancy to ridicule you about your ‘lack of knowledge’ on the subject of the situation, even if everyone else who may be involved knows that you do indeed know more. c-ckp-ss’s are generally harmless, often friendly and possessing more bark than bite. but beware, a c-ckp-ss loves nothing more than to gossip about their friends/peers/enemies/complete strangers. never divulge personal information to a c-ckp-ss, as it won’t stay personal for long. a c-ckp-ss can display involuntary troll tendancies, should they be indulged and taken seriously. the best defense against a c-ckp-ss is to nod, smile, and let them talk. they soon get bored and move onto their next victim.
“your friend is talking sh-t again, he’s never even heard of that band!” “yeah i know, don’t take him too seriously, he’s a c-ckp-ss.” “a c-ckp-ss? ah, i thought so, but you shoulda told me bro! haha!”