coconuting
act of sipping an invisible coconut on the company’s payroll while doing a meaningless task on your own or with a team, in order to maximize value for yourself at the expense of the company. it only applies to payed employees who enjoy a certain level of comfort from being let go. comes from the act of enjoying a coconut c-cktail while on vacation.
“john is coconuting right now”: john is updating an excel file that n-body in the company needs, just to make it until it’s time for him to leave, because he doesn’t want to engage in any activity that may keep him working late.
“mike just coconuted me for an hour”: mike works at a different office with a different time zone, and he talks slowly and is very hesitant during the call, until is his time to leave. i am exposed to his indifference to work, and just have to suck it up, before i can go back to my agenda and keep working for the company. in my imagination mike is sipping a coconut with his shoes off caring less about colleagues on the rest of the world.
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