Commissioner Gordon
when you surprise a girl by coming up behind her dressed as batman and then f-cking her in the -ss. you need to address her as “gordon” while you’re doing it because as well all know, batman does enjoy surprising commissioner gordon. when you are done, before she can turn around, you must jump out the nearest window. when you are gone, she must say, “i hate when he does that”…or some other witty line that only commissioner gordon would say.
after i saw “the dark knight,” i was so turned on, i gave your grandmother a commissioner gordon.
a friend who only contacts you; when they are in need of your help.
you know how commissioner gordon only contacts batman when he’s in a tight spot?
when the only time your friend contacts you is because he needs help. that’s being a commissioner gordon.
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