Communion Circuit


a workout done inside a chapel by catholic priests. this was first done by sfc. fr. roger staingl-ss when he’s preaching a sermon. it mostly consists of three exercises called “g-d squats”, “lord lunges”, and “jehovah jacks”. usually they are done in three or four rounds in quick succession. a circuit of this always ends by kneeling on the prayer bench and saying one hail mary before the next circuit begins. stainy does this in the mornings before the early service. so if you want a religious workout that will really perk you, try a communion circuit – it can’t hurt you! stainy staingl-ss said so!
stainy: hey bryant, you feel like some exercise? let’s do our communion circuit. i need some stretches.

bryant: sure! gotta have those warm up exercises now. i love these!

stainy: okay! first one, lets do some g-d squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) easy. now hold it too long. just stand there until it starts to burn.

bryant: wow! good one. what’s next?

stainy: next up is the lord lunge. you know how we priests kneel on one knee? you do that and then you quickly stand up again. that’s the second part of a communion circuit. (he does a lord lunge to show bryant)

bryant: what’s the third part?

stainy: the jehovah jack. you jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. then you jump down and pray a hail mary. and then the circuit starts all over again. great workout, huh?

bryant: yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?

stainy: sure it is. the saintly stretches. here, hold my hand. how, stretch all the way up into the sky. there sweetie. that’s it. communion circuits rock, don’t they?

bryant: they sure do! they wake you up. i love doing these. they’re better than knee mail!

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