a fancy name for a person that has access to google and who’s job is to search hotels, restaurants, airlines, etc. in order to book reservations for people that are too lazy and/or rich to do it themselves.
concierge: thank you for calling concierge services, how can i help you?
mr. smith: i’m flying into nyc this weekend and need to book the best hotel and booty bar please.
concierge: sure (googles “best hotel in nyc” then “best strip club in nyc” and proceeds to book reservations). mr. smith, your reservations have been made.
the winnipeg equivalent of a geisha.
a concierge is trained in the art of fanciness and pleasure.
a person that works for a hotel or hotline who sets up reservations. the daily job responsibilities can range anywhere from dinner, tours, hotels, airlines, spa appointments, escort services, transportation to and from seedy areas of town to purchase illegal substances and/or prost-tutes, setting up amenities to be delivered to a gentleman’s mistress and himself in their room that his wife will call and inquire about because it appears on her credit card statement (though the concierge is held to strict privacy policies and will be unable to divulge said information), regular and routine disinfecting of work surfaces to prevent the spread of hepat-tis c, and manicures.
furthermore, concierges are not responsible for preventing spouses from finding out whether or not his or her partner is cheating. they are not considered “private investigators” and should not be asked things such as “who is that little tramp staying in the room with my husband? i demand to know the truth, i am his wife.” however, just because it is not in the concierge’s job description does not mean that the concierge will not have to perform many different duties such as “covering up for cheating husbands” or “dodging creeps looking to score a date with the concierge”.
so when i checked into the hotel i asked the concierge if she wanted to go on a date with me. she said she wasn’t allowed to go out with guests. so i told her that i was looking for someone that wasn’t an expensive date and asked if one of her girlfriends wanted to go out with a rich sugar daddy for the evening. she said she wasn’t comfortable -ssisting me in such endeavors. i think i’m going to talk to her general manager about how she refused me and my untouched p-n-s service.
yeah… whatever, “google for those too rich” person. a concierge, these days, is (1) a trained professional who is there to do the things that people don’t feel like doing, or, if they’re not from the area, unable to operate a computer themselves, or simply disinclined to do it for themselves. (2) a trained professional with an extensive personal network whereby seemingly ‘impossible’ things are made to come to fruition.
1) “young concierge man? where is the nearest center for the blind?”
2) “young concierge lady? i need 4 three-legged, purple ducks, that are blind in one eye, a case of vintage veuve clicquot ponsardin brut (1912), vip access to the sold-out sky boxes at the new yankee stadium— in 10 minutes (!!!), a yellow masarati with less than 154.7 miles on it to meet my jet on the tarmac at 9:16am, the best hotel room in new york, a live, pregnant sugar glider (carrying triplets), aaaaaaaaaaand bottle service at the booty bar”
thank you very much! we make the impossible possible.
a person who works at an apartment building or, more commonly, a hotel. they are similar in function to a butler. their job is make a guest’s stay more pleasant by attending to special requests, arranging events or restaurant reservations and answering questions or making suggestions about the local area.
i asked the concierge for a suggestion about a city tour and she is setting something up.
the guy who takes your luggage to your room and takes messages and makes reservations for you at a hotel!!!
think of ….. the guy at the front desk of the hotel in home alone 2 hes a concierge.
(french) an inquisitive and meddlesome woman who spends her days gossiping. typically a middle-aged caretaker or housekeeper who has nothing better to do with her life than to spy on people and report any insignificant detail to whoever happens to cross her path. seems to know everything about everybody, probably knows more about you than you do. always hoping to gather even more gossip to fuel her endless speculations.
a: ‘i met mrs. martinez in the hallway this morning… it took me more than 30 minutes to get rid of her endless gossiping.’
b: ‘such a concierge… is it me or she spends every waking hour spying on us?’
- casual ratchet
basically, you have a chill, lay back day with a possibility of it getting turnt up and getting ratchet. speedy’s having one of those “casual ratchet days ain’t she!?
- fabric swallower
when a booty has a certain size and definition that it appears to consume any fabric surrounding it. e.g. shorts, dresses, leggings etc… wow, check out that girl with obi! that’s a real fabric swallower she’s got there!
a fake musical term you can use when talking to a musician to p-ss them off/make them laugh. it is a cross between the words “mixolydian” and “locrian”, which are two different modes in music theory. music teacher: can someone name one of the modes? student: mixolocrian! music teacher: oh your real funny aren’t you? […]
the best person you’ll find. great sense of humor, llama or lola take your pick 🙂 she likes pickles, and she treats everybody equally. she probably wants to dye her hair and is crazy af 🙂 yooooooloooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! boy: yo did you see karolla ? other boy: yeah man she hoooott. a beutiful, talented girl with […]
- unlucky jeff
a guy with a beat up car that doesn’t like to hangout and eats too many snowb-lls and cheats at uno. can be a d-ck. always needs to be right, but sometimes funny and can take a joke. but he can be a joke too. did you see that guy spill his snowball while pushing […]