Congenital Fauxhemian Syndrome
cgs occurs when fauxhemian parents give their child some kind of peculiar and difficult-to-escape legacy derived from their particular brand of fauxhemianism.
the most common legacy is a “unique” (bizarre) name, or respelling of a common name, that they are convinced will identify the child as “creative” (pretentious) or “special” (too stupid to spell her own name). examples of the first include “dakota cheyenne”, “iriniel moonchilde”, or anything elvish or klingon; examples of the second include “cymberliy”, “djennifr”, and “padraigh” (unless one or both parents actually are native irish and/or speak gaelic).
other legacies include odd religious traditions (say, raelianism, or, invisible pink unicorn help us all, scientology); teaching the child an invented language such as quenya, klingon, or lojban as hir native tongue; and attempting to raise a non-inters-x child as an androgyne.
your name is … what? how do you pr-nounce, um, that? how do you even _spell_ that? ‘tlhihuq mihan’? oh. do you mind if i call you ‘dave’?” — “mrs. haney, she’s got congenital fauxhemian syndrome. we just call her ‘stevie’.
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