Cornelius

a very handsome gentleman who is very kind and loving but has abnormally large b-lls but is still a great guy, but… he has a severe ear fetish. don’t get near him when he’s h-rny, you’ll most likely lose hearing in one ear, but he is very cute and is a very generous lover. but cornelius is also most likely to turn out as some sort of p-rn addict or pedophile, or if the case of corneliusitus is serious enough, maybe even a rapist. corneliusis not a very good guy after all, now that i think about it. he is a menace to society, and needs to be locked away forever. but cornelius is still a very kind, nice, and loving man, but needs to be hung publicly without trial.
girl 1: “so how did your date go amanda?”
girl 2: “not so great, i found out he is a cornelius”
girl 1: “wtf is a cornelius?”
11 more definitions
cornelius: a name typically stereotyped or given definition by persons not named cornelius; who have never met a cornelius; or who are jealous they are not a cornelius. a cornelius and his corresponding lifestyle can be used to profound and lasting effect, as no one ever forgets meeting or sharing a memory with a cornelius. a cornelius’ magnetic, effervescent and fearless persona is generally a product of having survived a lifetime of name abuse at the hands of blandly named, high-fiving d-bags named mike, phil, steve and/or rob. cornelius’ generally enjoy expectations because they never disappoint. little can also be done to stop a cornelius once he starts talking, drinking, smoking, fighting, yelling and schmoozing, and rest -ssured, if you’ve made to back to cornelius’ home after having met one, you’ve already made up your mind to make him breakfast.
tiffany: so, i met this guy last night and the only way i could get him to shut up was to sleep with him.

gisel: was his name cornelius?
a hot s-xyyy guy that loves you for everything about you. may make fun of you at times but, if he realy cares he will kiss you or even make out with you in front of your or his friend. great kisser with big lips and abs. shy at times but loves attention so give him all you got.
cornelius just made out with me in front of this person. he is amazign!

i saw!!
nicknames: corn; corny; gozillla (due to their often times great height)

appearance: usually blonde, with the possibility of having white hair; eyes can change colours but will be mostly either blue, green, hazel or grey; usually very tall, to the point of being called g-dzilla

habitat: most cornelius’ will live in an urban environment/large, well-known city. often times it will be in a distant, european country.

hobbies: annoying new yorkers; cruises; being “one of those german guys”

summary: although they can be jerks, everybody who is lucky enough to know a cornelius can never stay mad at one, loving them for many years to come
emily: gosh, isn’t cornelius such a jerk?
meg: yeah i guess, but i can’t stay mad at him
a s-x god who is attractive to both women and men.
woah did you see that guy.
he’s such a corneliu
someone who thinks they’re all that. who enjoys peac-cking through city streets showing off their great biceps and good looks that they’re convinced they have.
hey that guy is the most big headedest person i’ve ever seen!

you mean cornelius?!
the practice of sequentially inserting each digit of your hand into a man’s -n-s and then licking them clean.
“let me prove how much i love you and give you a cornelius.”
a criminal who hides in dark alleyways and chops people in half down their coronal plane to scoop out their organs with a spoon and eat their breast meat.
chuck norris is such a cornelius.