Cottage Pie

as a female is pleasuring a male via oral s-x she inserts her middle and ring finger into his -n-s. she then deep throats the male and at the moment of deep throat the male -j-c-l-t-s into the females throat, she then proceeds to vomit over the males genitalia (prior to this the female ate carrots potatoes peas and gravy). as this is occurring the female pulls out the middle and ring finger out of the males -n-s only to allow a spurt of diarrhoea to cover the females hand, she then draws a moustache onto the males face using his faeces.
if your not nice to my mother i’m going to cottage pie you.

oh f-ck because i stayed out and didn’t tell her my wife cottage pied me.

my mum made me cottage pie last night and it made me cry.
a cl-ssic british dish in which a layer of cooked beef mince and onions is topped with a creamy mashed potato layer and baked until golden brown. this goes very well server with carrots, peas and gravy.

the dish is very similar to shepherds pie, the difference being in the meat used. cottage pie uses beef and shepherds pie uses lamb.
you’ve got to love cottage pie
background: a legend made up in a maths lesson about a strange little character called matthew and a dopy sod called ming. the legend says that matthew goes home of an evening to play scrabble and chuff cottage pie.

definition: cottage pie aka sheppards pie. a meaty pie, usually beef with a layer of crrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaamy potato placed on top and then this dish is baked in an oven. there are vegetarian options available as matthew knows.
example: matthew was bombing it down the a3400 slouched in his seat at the wheel with his drum and b-ss poundin out of his white ford escort with both of his dads present. the lights change to green and so matthew zooms off round the island to tesco where he can get his fix of cottage pie for the evening. the evening he pulls ming will be the evening where he says to her, “you have two logic gates on your chest”, grinning smugly. “mmmmmmmm cottage pie and scrabble”