crohns
one b-tch of a disease. common in causing messed up stomachs, but can in fact be used as an excuse for anything possible.
why didn’t you do your homework?
i have crohns.
why did your mom die?
she had crohns.
how’d your dad get so smart?
he has crohns.
very painful intestinal disease that lasts a persons entire life. depending on severity the person can be on a small amount of medicine to a large amount of pills plus an iv injection every 2 months.
he was going to chill with us tonight but his crohns started to flare now he can’t get off the toilet.
an english verb meaning “to release flatulence”, which can be applied to people with crohn’s disease. these generally cause extremely foul odors and are known to stimulate symptoms in unfortunate bystanders that can range from minor heart attacks to death. those who crohn are advised to isolate themselves for at least two minutes before making any human contact, but four hours is the physician-recommended amount.
oh, this smells, did someone sh-t themself?
ugh, it’s awful, it smells like someone crohned!
david it was you!
dave you crohny motherf-cker
you’ve doomed us all david!
ugh…umm…ssss…sss…gioagh…blaargagoighghga…
oh no, guys, donny’s having another seizure-heart attack from the smell.
he’s not gonna make it!
see what you’ve done to use, you monster! you evil, crohn’s infected monster!
guys… i’m sorry… it’s my condition…
warn us next time! for the love of all that is sacred! why, donny, why?!
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