Crotch Monkey

a person who overhears others making plans and invites themselves along.
jim: hey bob, let’s go to chotchky’s for lunch.
bob: sure, sounds great!
larry: where we going guys?
jim: don’t be a crotch monkey, you’re not invited.
an abnormaly large bush, which hangs out of underwear or even a pair of shorts, typically looks like the person has a baby monkey hiding in their underwear
guy one: did you see how amanda was sitting on the picnic table
guy two: how could i miss it? was she trying to show off her goods to everyone?
guy one: goods? more like bads! that girls got a crotch monkey
guy two: oh god, dont remind me
guy one: should we get her some napalm for christmas ?
crotch monkeys is a slang term for pubic lice or crabs. also see std.
danm, i was kickin it wit yo sista last night and those crotch monkeys be swingin’ tha vines. yo crab havin trick sista gave me the crabs and the clap.
a special type of person that resides in the bar scene and is desperate for any chance of “going at it”. a crotch monkey is rare but deadly if messed with, and if slept with the monkey you will wake with one or more of these symptoms: herpies, super herpies, burning pee, itchiness of the genital and/or rectal region, and the super rare california king crabs. it generally preferred to stay away no matter what.
lance – “did you hear jack slpet with a crotch monkey?”
allan – “ya…he said he will never do it again.”
lance – “why?”
allan – “because he said he had to go to the doctor for something called, cali. king crabs.”
lance – “california king crabs?!”
allan – “ya, its like red lobster down there.”
one who engages in s-xual demeanor in a mult-tude of times, either male or female. see also swinger.
you are an extreme crotchmonkey.
this is a variety of teenage/adolescent female who tries to gain favored status with teenage males by always sitting on their lap. they also like to sit on the laps of older men to gain the same status.
hey son, tell kelly to stop sitting on everyone’s lap around here like a crotchmonkey.
the power of a computer, usually only a laptop computer. strangely linked with the idea of cogs whirring in a human mind, the crotch monkeys do the sums inside the laptop. the more crotch monkeys – the faster the machine, and vice versa.
jesus, look at that brand new apple jobbie, think how many crotch monkeys that f-ck’s got.