Crown Princess Mary of Denmark
australian “love account manager” and gold-digger who married into the danish royal family in 2004. known for using pointy-toed stillettoes to nail the b-lls of crown prince frederik of denmark (aka ‘the dumbling’) to the walls of a share-house in sydney, australia, on their first date. famous for crying on denmark television as she recounted her love for her dead grandmother – before a reporter revealed he had found her letters in mary’s trash bin. the danish royal family invented the ‘post-nuptial agreement’ as damage control in the wake of revelations about mary’s relatives, who include a convicted child rapist, brendan johnc-ck.
crown princess mary of denmark, born plain mary donaldson in the boondocks of tasmania, rose to fame, and then infamy, as the novelty of having a nordic imelda marcos wore off and the danish taxpayer revoted when she installed 20 bathrooms in the palace.
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