Damp Cat

new to 2009!!!!

first derived from the popular adolescent game of soggy bicuit, and has led to the creation of games such as moist gerbil and wet politician, damp cat is defined as:

the art of a group of young, often bored male friends sitting in a circle around a cat (-chained or nailed to floor if necessary-). each player then proceeds, in a predetermined order, starting with the youngest to m-st-rb-t- until near -j-c-l-t–n. then the first player proceeds to -j-c-l-t- on the cat, (the waiting players holding the s-m-n in until their turn). then each player proceeds (in the agreed order) to -j-c-l-t- onto the cat. the winner/loser can be determined in one of three ways:

1) the person who -j-c-l-t-s the least amount of s-m-n after one round loses, and as a forfeit has to eat the cat, s-m-n and all.
2) the person who first fails to -j-c-l-t- loses, thus ends up eating the cat – an endurance race, as as many rounds as necessary are played until one person fails to -j-c-l-t- an acceptable amount onto the cat.
3) uncommon as it involves slightly different rules to above, but still used nevertheless:
each player starts masturbating at an agreed time and the last person to -j-c-l-t- an acceptable amount over the cat loses and, as in the other twists on this popular game is to be fed the cat.

-chaining cats to the floor is dangerous and cruel, however funny, do not actually do this, there are other ways to keep it still, such as masking and gagging-
johnny: “blud, you up fo’ a game of soggy biscuit?”
frankie: “nah cuz, me an’ the lads going round nigels’ to play damp cat, wanna join?”
johnny: “yeah, though i warn ya, i’m more of a moist gerbil player myself!”
imagine soggy biscuit, but with a cat…
dan: fancy a game of soggy biscuit tonight?
george: nah mate, i’m playing damp cat